Aliases: CK, Punani Magnet, Ryan Reynolds, Chop King, Blayn’s older brother, Tyson’s Younger brother.
Occupation: Head of logistics and baggage management at Qantas Airways and good friends with Richard Branson.
Hobbies: Lasagne Toppers, Chicken cheese dongs, West Coast eagles fan club, his bucket of puss Toyota Camry and male facial grooming.
Dislikes: Turnovers, Jadon Gielingh lisp, Dianella Morley, Mark Colace winning fairest and best every year.
Bio: There’s a reason he’s been nicknamed the Rolls Royce of the football field, he’s clean, he’s luxury, a step above all other brands and girls want to take a ride.
From day 1 at the football club, Caius has been a stallion on and off the football field. Breaking opposition hearts on the ground as well as girls hearts off the ground.
With a beard that has made him a sex symbol especially during SNESA ladies night, Caius is definitely the Face that Runs the place. You can often hear the crowd yelling our during games, “oh my god how’s the leg on Caius Kelly, oh wait that was mark Colace again”
Caius has been unlucky during his time at snesa in the awards category. It’s the simple case of never a bride always a bridesmaid, always coming off second best to the skipper Mark Colace… and even one year Jadon Gielingh. Hahahah yes I know right fucken hell what happened there.
Whether it be cutting up midfields during the day or cutting up rugs on the Hipe dance floor in the evening, Caius uses his big bustling shoulders and raw core strength to palm off the opposition and fat ugly fan girls.
Whilst Caius is well known for his high pressure acts and tackling ability on field. He’s not afraid to tackle the hard issues off field, like why gentlemans night at the club needs 4 strippers instead of 3. Value for money he said.
If you ever have a yarn with his long time partner in crime and best mate Mark, he will put his feelings for Caius simply as “that Fuckwit hit the post that cost us a premiership, I’ll never fucking forgive that grub”
If you speak to his coach. David Van something or other. He holds Caius in the highest regards. At first he did say, “who the Fuck is Caius” but when you mention the house hold name of “chop king” Coach Van dunno the rest of his last name sums Caius up in one sentence.
“He’s almost as good as Mark Colace”