Aliases: CK, Punani Magnet, Ryan Reynolds, Chop King, Blayn’s older brother, Tyson’s Younger brother. Occupation: Head of logistics and baggage management at Qantas Airways and good friends with Richard Branson. Hobbies: Lasagne Toppers, Chicken cheese dongs, West Coast eagles fan club, his bucket of puss Toyota Camry and male facial grooming. Dislikes: Turnovers, Jadon Gielingh lisp, …
Aliases: Elmo, Tip, tippy, tip rat, croat Likes: Peroni in cans, helmets, screw kicks, Molotov cocktails, sweaty upper lips Dislikes: Long sleeves, hair product Bio: After starting 2014 saying he was not going to play, the tip played in almost all of SNESA’s League wins in 2014. his is no coincidence as he just picks …
Name: Dan Williams Aliases: Danny Will, Tom Waterhouse, Sniffles, The Poonslayer, Bunga Occupation: Truck Juggler Likes: The Dockers, fixed odds, Hawaiian pizzas, his fully-sick ‘96 Honda Accord Dislikes: Hard ball gets, Sportsbet, tans, Milky backing a dog Dan’s already on Bio: Commonly mistaken for Tom Waterhouse due to their uncanny likeness and bulging wallets, Dan …
Name: Jadon Gielingh Aliases: Jado, Jady, Giels, Hairstyle, Nice shirt mate Likes: John Saffran Bio: You know Jadon as the towering, muscle bound ruckman of Snesa’s league team. His dedication to the team is legendary, never having missed a single training session or scratch match in his long playing career. In spite of all this …
Name: Ben Harris Aliases: Benny, Harro, Skinner, Stroker, Smooth skin Ben, Biceps, Triceps, Delts, Pecs Likes: Ben Harris Favourite Quotes: “Yes Ben” Bio: After famously getting 3 hammy rub-downs while SNESA Waterboy, Harro continues to surprise in 2012. Bagging over 300 goals for SNESA in 3 seasons, Ben hit the ground running when he arrived …
Name: Matthew Brown Aliases: Browny, Biff, Brown dog Dislikes: Working Likes:When Ginbey does all the work Bio: Does a player make a better coach or a coach make a better player? It is an interesting concept; however there is always an outlier or an exception to the rule – and that is Browny. In fact …
Name: Anthony Lo Presti Age: 27 Height: 4ft Fu*k All Aliases: Ant, Dragon Slayer, Anfernee, Monk, Depressed-e, Tip Rat Resides at: Mums Teet Likes: Getting a call up, Snagging a goal, Slaying Dragons Dislikes: Movies that aren’t a “Cinematic Masterpiece”, Girls that are a challenge Bio: Ant could easily be likened to the world most …
Name: Andrew Farina Aliases: The Birdman, Faz Occupation: Mining Bogan Likes: Utes, Jet Ski’s, Motorcross, Quad Bikes, Lancelin, Women over 45, The Cagnanas and pretty much every other attached girl in the universe, blowing his whole pay on drinking piss on his week off. Dislikes: Doors, Sleep, having to provide own dinner Bio: It is …
Name: Corey O’Connor Aliases: Jenny Craig, Slim Fast, Delaney, Chino Likes: Protein Powder, Gym, Gym Mirror, Hair Gel, Hair dye, Local Aborigines Dislikes: Girls his age Bio: Corey joined SNESA in 2010 as an overweight, slow, ugly looking peanut who sat on the reserves bench. He was known amongst his hometown Eaton friends as jiggles …
Name: Ryan McCullough Aliases: Macca, MacAttack, Big Deal, Raph Clarke, Babe Ruth Likes: Running fast, Mac & Cheese, Talking up his lacklustre football and baseball abilities Dislikes: Snapping the banjo, Ryan Edmunds, Bringing good food on road-trips Achievements: Brought the Webby’s down to SNESA. Bio: Ryan joined SNESA in 2010, after his life partner Aaron …
Name: Hayden Scott Nicknames: Scotty, Spoof, Haydee. Marital status: Married Spouse: Portia DeRossi Likes: alcohol fueled violence, cronulla beach riots. Dislikes: ethnics, enclosed shoes, repercussions of excessive dare iced coffees, pronouncing words with multiple syllables. Bio: Don’t let this boys feminine physique mislead you, Scott has become an integral part of this SNESA league side …
Name: Christian Tufilli Aliases: Scudz, Carrado, Silly Ding, Gino Likes: Pasta, Gel, Fully Sick Subwoofers and TAB Dislikes: Losing AFL multi’s by a kick Bio: Scudz transferred from soccer to come and try his hand at real football. After the coach “whitey” at the time could see he could nearly kick and handball, he was …
Name: Chris Millsteed Aliases: Milky, Milly, Milkstain, Milkdud Likes: Bully, trainers, getting caught holding the ball, having X-Rays and applying sunscreen before games. Bio: Chris is heavily involved in the football club and recently he created the 90’s party as an excuse to sport a shit haircut and raid his mum’s lingerie drawer. Surprisingly however, …
Name: Ben Magry Aliases: Mags, Magavry, Maggy, Goo, Maggy-goo-goo, Beno, Noey, Noah, Bert Magry Born: India Age: 21 Occupation: Chippy mate Enjoys: Working Bio: Born with a hammer in hand inside a port-a-loo outside a job site in Mumbai – Benjamin Magry moved to Perth in 1994 to follow his dream of AFL and to …
Name: Hayden Burgs Burgoyne Height: 185cm (188cm after kicking a goal) Likes: Dominoes cheap Tuesday’s. Booty shaking on the D-Floor, Communal Wedges, Massaging large deltoids. Dislikes: Long canteen lines. Conscious girls. Bio: After kicking over 100 goals in the colts last year, the {rokbox title=|Jack Vidgen :: Burgoyne’s Hair| text=|Jack Vidgen|}http://resources3.news.com.au/images/2011/05/05/1226050/338055-jack-vidgen.jpg{/rokbox} hair-styled Burgoyne has struggled …
Name: Justin Baptist Blappy Age: 24 Hometown: Denpasar Likes: Brunner’s Ex-girlfriends, Smokin’ darts Bio: Justin Blaptist is an extremely crafty footballer. We’ve all seen him play. Some might even say he was the first Cyril Rioli. Week in week out he gets the job done. His silky smooth ball work and his precise pidgeon kicks …
Name: Suman Das Aliases: The Black Blur, Dassy Rascal, D-A-Dollar Sign, Sniper, Bollywood Bad-Boy Age: 27 Fav foods: white rice Favourite Music: Gladys Knight and the Pips, Rick James, Wu-Tang Clan Enjoys: Grill workouts including sit-ups and leg raises, Picking up honey’s at the E-V-E, Blazing up, Sweet Bean Bio: Suman came down to SNESA …
Name: Terry Wog Dog Wallace Age: 23 Hometown: Mafia money laundering factory at an undisclosed location (presumed to be in the hills of Sicily) Likes: Cup-caking pommy girlfriend, losing golf balls in bushes on-course Foods: Massive bowls of pasta with a whole loaf of garlic bread on the side finished off with half a tub …
Name: Brendan Colkers Lizard Age: 24 Origin: “I was born in a seaplane somewhere over Eurasia” Fav foods: Fried chicken, grape soda, watermelon Enjoys: Tim-o-matic, Dancing with his eyes closed, hot family BBQ’s Bio: When Brendan has free time between hot family commitments he tries to fit in a game of footy. He is best …
Name: Ryan Edmunds Elmo Age: 25 Games: 97 Origin: Croatian Jew Enjoys: Lighting flares, molotovs Bio: Elmo has made the ultimate sacrifice for the football club – he is now unable to cognitively function above a year 4 level, and wears a helmet to reduce the risk of further damage. Often seen trying to put …
Name: Daniel Bull Bully Age: 30 Games: 76 Weight: lol Hobbies: Eaties pies etc. Bio: Daniel joined SNESA in 2007, and after a strong first year started a 3-year stint as President in 2008. Despite his doughy physique, he has a massive engine and is strong overhead. Disposal is OK, kicking the ball annoyingly high …