Name: Anthony Lo Presti
Height: 4ft Fu*k All
Aliases: Ant, Dragon Slayer, Anfernee, Monk, Depressed-e, Tip Rat
Resides at: Mums Teet
Likes: Getting a call up, Snagging a goal, Slaying Dragons
Dislikes: Movies that aren’t a “Cinematic Masterpiece”, Girls that are a challenge
Bio: Ant could easily be likened to the world most over-rated small forward Phil Matera if he could pick the ball up on the run, kick over 25ms and have any form of acceleration. Unfortunately, he was blessed with a mighty thick sword for dragon slaying which incumbers his speed and mobility.
2012 pre-season started with a bang for Ant, as he kicked 2 goals in 2 SNESA scratch matches. Up until recently against Ellenbrook, this was the last time he was seen in a SNESA kit. Obligations to work have seen the pint-sized forward unable to attend training and this has made selecting him not the right thing to do. Opposition teams would be thankful that the Atomic Ant isn’t terrorizing their backlines but less thankful that he is snapping up all the dragons on the market.
His presence around the club is followed with great fanfare, as many eagerly anticipate the tales of his weekend crusades. Disgusting but entertaining, the tip-rat’s tales are fun for all to enjoy…
Lo Presti has not always had this disgraceful form though, and should still hold some hope. Once a role model to many, he used to make-a Mumzy a-so proud. Perhaps its due his choices in living arrangements in recent years, or his managerial role at Supercheap may have gone to his head, but some still hold slim hope that the Enigma himself will turn away from his dragon slaying ways, and return to the times when he used his novelty height as a ploy to attract, charm, intoxicate, trick, rufie and seduce babes.