Name: Christian Tufilli
Aliases: Scudz, Carrado, Silly Ding, Gino
Likes: Pasta, Gel, Fully Sick Subwoofers and TAB
Dislikes: Losing AFL multi’s by a kick
Bio: Scudz transferred from soccer to come and try his hand at real football. After the coach “whitey” at the time could see he could nearly kick and handball, he was a prime candidate for playing reserves games and then doubling up for league games on a regular basis. The reason he transferred from soccer was because of the injury “osteitis pubis”. After receiving multiple cures from different doctors (even sticking needles in his japs eye) he finally realised it was his oversized junk that was causing the problems down there. It has been compared to a 5kg stick of mortadella.
In the off season you will always find Scudz at Ascot on a Saturday afternoon donating his money to the much loved bookies. After losing a couple of early races by small margins, the bets get bigger and bigger and usually can end up being a pretty expensive day for the slick-haired Italiano. Also, what does not help is the tips Elmo’s dad sends him – those tips ensure you lose all your money faster then you can say “pass me that cannoli, I’ve had enough of this prosciutto and there’s no tortellini left.”
On the footy field, Scudz has likened his game to that of Collingwood superstar Nick Maxwell. He either matches up on the disabled forward pockets of the other team or most of the time does not have an opponent at all. His toughness can not be questioned though, always putting his head over the ball when confronted with a 50/50 contest. This has led to many shoulder and neck injuries, but Scudz still soldiers on – even with the overweight, middle age men taking a liking to crashing into the top half of his body.
With his shoulder injury sidelining him for most of this season, and following on from his successful coaching stint at Queens Park, Scudz has tried his hand at some assistant coaching with the League team. At work he has coached a few school footy games and relates a lot of his techniques back to working with kids. Not learning anyone’s name he has given everyone in the League team the name “muscles” or “champ” and wears shorts that leave nothing to the imagination.