Ryan McCullough

Name: Ryan McCullough
Aliases: Macca, MacAttack, Big Deal, Raph Clarke, Babe Ruth

Likes: Running fast, Mac & Cheese, Talking up his lacklustre football and baseball abilities
Dislikes: Snapping the banjo, Ryan Edmunds, Bringing good food on road-trips
Achievements: Brought the Webby’s down to SNESA.

Bio: Ryan joined SNESA in 2010, after his life partner Aaron Brunner had joined the previous year. They decided that spending 6 days together a week wasn’t enough, and SNESA could provide a solution. Aaron learned to his disappointment, that he is not Macca’s first true love – that belongs to Baseball. The Mac loves baseball because he gets to wear gay white tights. Baseball has taken him and his undeniable skill overseas to the big smoke where his addiction to performance enhancing drugs including anabolic steroids first began. Macca uses ‘roids because he likes baseball. He also uses horse tranquiliser to sleep and seduce women. Thats right, women – don’t let his homosexual tendencies fool you, the hair-straightening manscaping Mac is actually an accomplished cocksman. “Once you go Mac, you never go back”, according to no-one, ever.

Macca has used a series of successful tactics in recent years to trick women into the bedroom, usually starting with an excessive amount of facebook harassment or “coincidentally” appearing at venues where he can use his favourite pick-up line: “Cold tonight isn’t it? (staring at breasts)”

This tough and durable utility player has starred all across the ground in 2012, finding form early in the season and continuing right throughout – the Mac looks a new player this year. But he is still ultra-sensitive and will probably cry if you tease him about his hair. He got his face rearranged earlier in the season after someone used his nose as a stepladder for their knee, but the tables have turned, and after absolutely shit-mixing an opponent “Brodie Holland style” in round 11 with a bone-crunching but legal shirtfront, Macca has confirmed that his game is well-rounded and will be hoping to continue his solid form in League for the remainder of 2012.

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